It must be... All is well

A couple of months ago....

I've been in a situation wherein I can say how i wish i didn't experienced it.
Should I say all kinds of "aches", I've endured it. Name it I've been through it.

Then I ask Lord, I said " Lord, Please Ayoko na siya makita. If the right time permits,
If it is your will na magkrus na ang landas namin then i'll take it as a sign that everything
is settled then, No more bitterness and no more aches."

Just when you didn't expect it. The person whom I've wished to hide forever appears.
On the contrary, I've felt that something missing has been put back. No negativity has passed through me. I didn't know if this scenario is good or bad. Everything has flash backed. Those happy memories and those days that we've talked like there's no tomorrow.

I must admit I'm happy but a part of me also says that I'm putting myself in another situation wherein I 'll lose again. In this world, Where everything is complicated, How can i put a good judgement?

Weighing between what wanders to your mind and to what your heart feels, whom shall i listen to?
They say if you want to know where your heart is look where it wanders.

Sometimes we need to learn to let go pero bakit ganon? Kung kailan nagpasya ka nang makalimot atsaka naman babalik at magpapaalala sayo? Minsan nga naisip ko nalang sana may selective amnesia nalang ako para hindi na ko nahihirapan atleast di ba? New beginnings nalang. Wala ka ng maalala na masasakit na bagay.

I know there must have a good reason kaya nangyayari ulit ito. I know there is. I believe.
Nakayanan ko naman na maging normal ang buhay, Maybe i should just let it be.
Basta ang alam ko walang bitterness na. I'm just having a doubt if this situation will only make it worse. Yun naman yung pinagdasal ko na sana maging okay na lang lahat at masaya na siya then i guess that is enough.

Kunwari ibang tao yung nagsulat ano kaya i advise ko?

When

"A picture can worth a thousand word

A Smile can worth a million happiness

But a tear can worth a billion pain."

Have you ever experience how tricky life can be? With all the confusions and delusions that'll cause havoc in you? 

My dearest You,

I didn't know what to say to you. Here we are maybe in the most dreadful situation right now.
Maybe i like you already and didn't know if you feel the same way to me.
My You, Oh please tell me what do we have? 
I'm just a little to naive,
For those what happened doesn't convince me
Is this reel or real?
For assuming is not really my thing!

Please tell me what is,
For i haven't slept thinking am i not enough or this is just all a big mistake.

Isn't it ironic?

Everything that you are now is because of the people who came in that stayed and those who left you.

Life is ironic, don't you think?

When you have thought that everything was alright, then all of a sudden it's not.

When you have thought that you already found the "one", He isn't the right person after all.

When you finally had that moment,
that moment that you're ready to fall in love
but he's not ready at all.

And the most painful of all, You had found the "one" but at the wrong time, wrong place, wrong situation.

I've been counting... counting for days.... 4 days to be exact, This is the fourth day. The fourth day that i'm trying to live.. to move on.. and get used to life, The first 2 days were hard. You just can't go on. That "thing" is always interfering with my mind. You can't sleep, You can't talk. You just want to lay in your bed and do nothing but cry. It do hurts like someone's stabbing you. This is just harder than i thought emotional torture is worse than physical pain.

I've read an article that says, Those people who wore their smiles in the middle of their crisis is the reflection of how strong they are. Did you know that it is hard to be strong? Sometimes it is tiring. Do you know that I've been thinking of just giving up? Because being strong is just too exhausting,

I'm tired of pretending. Pretending that everything is alright, that i can do it. Do you know how frustrating it is?

Let me just describe what i am feeling right now,

Have you seen a well? When you've looked at it, you can't see where it ends. That's where i am today, stuck in a well. Don't know where to go.

I never intended to cry for these what i called "nonsense" things. I promised to myself way back then that I would not shed one tear for this reason but I was wrong then. I just can't help but cry. I didn't shed just one tear but a bucket of it.

Minsan iniisip ko nalang, Sana tulad nalang dati. Wala nalang akong nararamdaman, Manhid. Hindi masasaktan, Hindi iiyak. Kaya lahat ng bigat na nararamdaman. Ayokong masaktan, Akala ko dati ok lang kakayanin ko pero akala lang pala lahat.

When 4 days felt like months. All I can do is wish and hope. Everyday, I'm hoping that maybe.....
Pinipigilan ko nga sarili ko na isipin ka o sumagi ka sa isip ko. Lahat na ng gimik ginawa ko. ANG HIRAP MAG MOVE-ON! Ang sakit sakit na talaga kulang nalang umiyak ako ng dugo kung pwede lang tanggalin ko yung puso ko tatanggalin ko eh! Di bale nalang na wala akong maramdaman eh kesa araw-araw masaya ako sa itsura ko pero kung makikita mo lang yung loob ng puso ko grabe na sa pagdugo! Durog na nga eh! Durog na Durog kulang nalang pulbusin nalang at hanginin!.

no uh!! no way!!

I can feel you meg.

{Meg}
If there's a prize for rotten judgement
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That's ancient history
Been there, done that

{Muses}
Who'd you think you're kiddin'
He's the Earth and Heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden
Honey, we can see right through you
Girl, you can't conceal it
We know how you feel and
Who you're thinking of

{Meg}
No chance, No way
I won't say it, no, no

{Muses}
You swoon, you sigh,
Why deny it? Uh-oh

{Meg}
It's too cliché
I won't say I'm in love

I thought my heart had learned it's lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming "Get a grip, girl!"
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out
Oh

{Muses}
You keep on denying
Who you are and how you're feeling
Baby, were not buying
Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling
Face it like a grown-up
When you gonna own up
That you got, got, got it bad?

{Meg}
No chance, no way,
I won't say it, no, no

{Muses}
Give up, give in
Check the grin you're in love

{Meg}
This scene won't play,
I won't say I'm in love

{Muses}
You're doin' flips, read our lips:
You're in love

{Meg}
You're way off base, I won't say it
Get off my case, I won't say it

{Muses
Girl, don't be proud
It's ok you're in love

{Meg}
Oh
At least out loud,
I won't say I'm in love

*all credits goes to disney
Song title: i won't say (i'm in love)
Hercules ost

To the one that got away

To the one that got away,

Just when i thought everything was in it's place,
Why would fate strike us the hardest?
We're not romeo and juliet,
And yet why are we destined to be like one?

Am i a coward for letting you go?
Or a fool for turning my back against you?
I know myself those reasons weren't enough
But what can i do if destiny has its own way.

I may have let you go,
I may have let you ran away,

I may regret,
I might just have regret it
But if letting you go means the best for the both of us,
Then i must.....

Maybe its not just in time..
But soon... Soon...

Untitled

Dear You,

Have you seen the movie of JL? Yung "My Amnesia Girl"?

I hope you're familiar with this movie line,

“Sabi sa census may 11 milyon na tao sa Metro Manila. Paano mo malalaman na nahanap mo na yung taong para sa’yo? Maaring nakita mo na siya, pero yumuko ka para magsintas. Maaring nakatabi mo na siya, pero lumingon ka para tingnan ang traffic lights. Maaring nakasalubong mo na siya pero humarang yung pedicab.”

“May mga maswerteng tao na nahanap na yung taong para sa kanila. May mga tanong patuloy na naghahanap at may iba na sumuko na. Pero yung pinakamasaklap, eh yung na sayo na pinakawalan mo pa”

Is this the exact situation we are in right now? I may have saw you but never noticed you. I may have passed you through but didn't looked back at you. I may have known you but never really knew it was you?! I may have saw the signs but never  really saw that it was there. YOU, you've been out of reach so far I really didn't know where are you. Am I the one who is lost?

C-O-N-F-U-S-E-D . That is what i am right now. Everything seems to be so.... unclear,... I don't want to assume and I don't want to be a spearheaded person. I want everything to be perfect. To the right time to the right YOU.

Life is Ironic, don't you think? Just when i thought everything is already okay.When the gears are all up and everything is all set, Suddenly the wind changes. The Roads were on it's crisscross again. The North becomes South and East becomes West. Just when I've thought that I am ready to set my sails that is when Life will strike at you.

Just like now, I want to know the you YOU but I'm afraid that I might just loose you. Fear that maybe it's not yet time. So, I will just wait here patiently till you arrive. 

Whoever you are YOU. Please be patient with me. Most of the times, I may be a little stubborn and easily pissed off but you see it's just my way to call your attention. I may complain sometimes but i didn't really meant it. I just wanna see your reaction, how would you be like if you're on the peak of your patience :) If you chose me then it's clear you'll accept me as my whole me. My worst and my best. There will be a time that we won't get along , As to make up with you I'll sing to you :) (Promise!!) 

Waiting,

E....

crazy little thing called LOVE

Today, i've watched a thai movie entitled "a crazy little thing called love".

Crazy little thing called LOVE

A story of a girl fell in love with her senior. She and her friends followed on the book that was entitled 9 recipes of love. A  book that'll guide you on the different methods on how you're crush will like you. A funny yet very inspiring story. Nam, the lead actress was secretly in love with shone, a M-4 while nam was just M-1. Through the help of that book Nam followed every method that was written to it. At first, Nam was ugly, they called her a bug face but due to her death defying love for shone she made shone her source of power and inspiration. it's funny because shone fell in love with Nam in the early part but he wouldn't let his feelings show. He just kept it inside. So Nam, really thinks the book wasn't effective. At the last part after 9 years they met on a tv show where shone was invited to guest because of Nam's interview and when they saw each other. voila! they where happy because now they can be on each others' arm.

Their is own story that i would share from the story:

Nam and Shone were sitting on a bridge. Then Shone told a story about a squid.
One day there was a squid. They swam together and after sometime they fell in love and got married.
the squid priest said: you can now hold each others hand. so the 2 squids. hold and hold and hold and hold their hands tightly.

after 11 years, they saw each other again and continue their love.
Love do really wait.

i was very touched with this story. Did you get the point of the story?