Life is ironic, don't you think?
When you have thought that everything was alright, then all of a sudden it's not.
When you have thought that you already found the "one", He isn't the right person after all.
When you finally had that moment,
that moment that you're ready to fall in love
but he's not ready at all.
And the most painful of all, You had found the "one" but at the wrong time, wrong place, wrong situation.
I've been counting... counting for days.... 4 days to be exact, This is the fourth day. The fourth day that i'm trying to live.. to move on.. and get used to life, The first 2 days were hard. You just can't go on. That "thing" is always interfering with my mind. You can't sleep, You can't talk. You just want to lay in your bed and do nothing but cry. It do hurts like someone's stabbing you. This is just harder than i thought emotional torture is worse than physical pain.
I've read an article that says, Those people who wore their smiles in the middle of their crisis is the reflection of how strong they are. Did you know that it is hard to be strong? Sometimes it is tiring. Do you know that I've been thinking of just giving up? Because being strong is just too exhausting,
I'm tired of pretending. Pretending that everything is alright, that i can do it. Do you know how frustrating it is?
Let me just describe what i am feeling right now,
Have you seen a well? When you've looked at it, you can't see where it ends. That's where i am today, stuck in a well. Don't know where to go.
I never intended to cry for these what i called "nonsense" things. I promised to myself way back then that I would not shed one tear for this reason but I was wrong then. I just can't help but cry. I didn't shed just one tear but a bucket of it.
Minsan iniisip ko nalang, Sana tulad nalang dati. Wala nalang akong nararamdaman, Manhid. Hindi masasaktan, Hindi iiyak. Kaya lahat ng bigat na nararamdaman. Ayokong masaktan, Akala ko dati ok lang kakayanin ko pero akala lang pala lahat.
When 4 days felt like months. All I can do is wish and hope. Everyday, I'm hoping that maybe.....
Pinipigilan ko nga sarili ko na isipin ka o sumagi ka sa isip ko. Lahat na ng gimik ginawa ko. ANG HIRAP MAG MOVE-ON! Ang sakit sakit na talaga kulang nalang umiyak ako ng dugo kung pwede lang tanggalin ko yung puso ko tatanggalin ko eh! Di bale nalang na wala akong maramdaman eh kesa araw-araw masaya ako sa itsura ko pero kung makikita mo lang yung loob ng puso ko grabe na sa pagdugo! Durog na nga eh! Durog na Durog kulang nalang pulbusin nalang at hanginin!.
